Next time. It will be next time. When I’ll be stronger, better settled. Next time, next life. I’ll be my person, I’ll make my own rules. I’ll be fierce, proud and whole. I’ll count my wins and losses and never I’ll drown. My mind will be my fortress. Next time, next life. I’ll make mistakes to wear and show. I’ll be so good to myself. Next time, next life.
The sun is blinding hot. I stand absorbing its warming embrace. I treasure the rising nature, spring it’s everywhere. No need for human interference. We’re safe inside and the World is coming alive.
The soft embrace of your childhood memories, still can take you there. It’s a smell, a voice, your carefree gaze. I lost the dreams, the nightmares as well. It’s a sleepless night sometimes. Day by day. Between a laugh and a cry. I cover in those memories from time to time, the warm blanket for a loving goodnight.
Don’t you worry. When you’ll face the harsh and tough, I’ll be there. When you fight with your fears, scared to your bones, your hand in mine. I’ll be there to dry your tears and make you smile. I’ll hold you tight when you’re cold inside. I see your scars and the healing you had to survive. I’ll be there when you’ll be losing faith. I’ll show you the bright colors you put in my eyes. I’ll be there to love you, body and soul. May the world be blind to our struggles, I’ll be there because you’re mine.
There are times when the picture is clear. Frozen in place, standing we can see, all the dirt, the falling dust that covers the lies. We were busy, occupied, we couldn’t bother to fight. There were too many shiny things to reach. Doesn’t matter the lost, the poor, the oppressed, ’till we escape that fate, we’re secure. So, the power was there to keep into greasy hands, to share between themselves. We were busy worrying ’till the grave. Paying overwhelming taxes, caressing empty things, distancing from feelings. We lost the power to criticize and act. Now, we face the consequence. The world in greedy hands, our safety at stake. How does it feel? Those shiny things, so empty and useless. We’re under a pacific tyranny. How does it sound? Take this time to understand.
Is there a no bullshit day out there? There’s a day for impressive tributes, to never forget how we failed, to celebrate silly things and so on. I myself would love a free bullshit day. I need it. As a sensitive person, as a “I’m ok with no being perfect, but not with you pretending to be one” person. A day where people like me can thrive and take pleasure walking around and meeting people. Until then, don’t call me, I’ll call you later. Just wait.
I held you in my dreams. This is the day my heart broke while yours was silent. Nobody wants to remember, nobody understands how important it would be. You were real. My heart will beat for you until my last breath.