I thought it was enough. Coping with a mended heart. Every step it’s a choice and it shows your path. Step by step you keep on walking; you stop, the road is cut. I dreamed with music and colors, had nightmeares that made me cry. I saw myself in love, brave and strong never to fear again. I trust no more and love no less. I made my choices, it’s me I blame. Lost are the dreams of days to come. I walk, I sit, well nothing changed. So hard to handle a complex mind, so pointless fighting a broken heart. In your words is your story, in your thoughts your true self.
We’re lost, we’re distant. We talk of nothings and life, we fight the beast of changes and daily rewind. Always a struggle, always behind. I need so much, you won’t try. I know, you know. We’ll keep on pretending is fine. If you want me, you’ve got to seduce me. You won’t even try. Bored I can deal with: it’s fine. I need no problems (no more), but please, I’m burning inside! you’re freezing my heart, flesh and soul. Such a crime!
I crave a tight embrace as much as I hate it. It’s so powerful it should mean good feelings. It’s a “welcome home”. It’s “I’ve got your back”. It’s “I feel for you”. It’s “I’ll make it better”. It should never be forced. It’s not righting wrongs. I’m a special place myself as you are. Let’s celebrate with big hugs that are good for the heart. Otherwise, step back. And keep your mask.
Don’t you worry. When you’ll face the harsh and tough, I’ll be there. When you fight with your fears, scared to your bones, your hand in mine. I’ll be there to dry your tears and make you smile. I’ll hold you tight when you’re cold inside. I see your scars and the healing you had to survive. I’ll be there when you’ll be losing faith. I’ll show you the bright colors you put in my eyes. I’ll be there to love you, body and soul. May the world be blind to our struggles, I’ll be there because you’re mine.
I held you in my dreams. This is the day my heart broke while yours was silent. Nobody wants to remember, nobody understands how important it would be. You were real. My heart will beat for you until my last breath.
There’s no fairness to receive back, no gratitude granted. It’s a choice to be true to yourself and maybe losing everything else. I trust No One. I just breathe, then I remember: I’m alive and deserve to be. Doesn’t matter if I’m truly seen, loved and respected. No matter what, I deserve this little place in this Time and Earth. I have to believe.
I need to stand up for myself. To be my own man, or woman in this case. I can adapt all right, can take all these little lies, as you picture them. I can be underestimated all my life. Be a tool for my own family. I’ll keep on living in my mind and keep my true self to me. When someone is ignoring me while I’m talking, I stop. I already know what’s on my mind and I don’t need to here it expressed in my voice out loud. I care about my body, I take care of it and I’ll let it untouched as much as I can if I’m not going to be treated with the care and time and feeling I deserve. You moron. You’re undeserving of my love.
Nothing hurts like the cuts you keep letting your loved ones inflict on you. It’s the betrayal of your affection, of your caring. It’s the burning humiliation. There are links you can’t break. There are crosses you bear willingly. Silently hiding in yourself, needing relief. Calling for everything to stop just for a second. Just to forget yourself, the place you live in, your life, every choice you made. Every person who broke you. Piece by piece. The moment you feel yourself floating with your favorite music, reaching for the sky. Just a second to leave all the ugliness behind. Give me just that second to forget.
Turning in circles around my head, I thought you were cheating, in some or either way…
I know it’s my business this need to clarify. My constant search for real in a different kind of light.
Real is my heart and my look into your eyes. Forgive me ’cause it’s cursed, my heart my love and Life.
Bittersweet smooth velvety glass,
so good to suck,
it’s melting your tongue.
Fine dark pleasure…
It’s chocolate babe
and my mouth is so
so guilty (oh) I’m weeping.