I thought it was enough. Coping with a mended heart. Every step it’s a choice and it shows your path. Step by step you keep on walking; you stop, the road is cut. I dreamed with music and colors, had nightmeares that made me cry. I saw myself in love, brave and strong never to fear again. I trust no more and love no less. I made my choices, it’s me I blame. Lost are the dreams of days to come. I walk, I sit, well nothing changed. So hard to handle a complex mind, so pointless fighting a broken heart. In your words is your story, in your thoughts your true self.
They come in pieces and in feathers they’re gone
Smiles on shattered glasses, no face to hold
You’re here and gone, am I real or a thought?
Maybe just the smallest dream of God
A little song a bird likes to give to the world.
Untouchable is the wind as my restless soul.
We’re lost, we’re distant. We talk of nothings and life, we fight the beast of changes and daily rewind. Always a struggle, always behind. I need so much, you won’t try. I know, you know. We’ll keep on pretending is fine. If you want me, you’ve got to seduce me. You won’t even try. Bored I can deal with: it’s fine. I need no problems (no more), but please, I’m burning inside! you’re freezing my heart, flesh and soul. Such a crime!
I crave a tight embrace as much as I hate it. It’s so powerful it should mean good feelings. It’s a “welcome home”. It’s “I’ve got your back”. It’s “I feel for you”. It’s “I’ll make it better”. It should never be forced. It’s not righting wrongs. I’m a special place myself as you are. Let’s celebrate with big hugs that are good for the heart. Otherwise, step back. And keep your mask.
Next time. It will be next time. When I’ll be stronger, better settled. Next time, next life. I’ll be my person, I’ll make my own rules. I’ll be fierce, proud and whole. I’ll count my wins and losses and never I’ll drown. My mind will be my fortress. Next time, next life. I’ll make mistakes to wear and show. I’ll be so good to myself. Next time, next life.
The sun is blinding hot. I stand absorbing its warming embrace. I treasure the rising nature, spring it’s everywhere. No need for human interference. We’re safe inside and the World is coming alive.
Don’t you worry. When you’ll face the harsh and tough, I’ll be there. When you fight with your fears, scared to your bones, your hand in mine. I’ll be there to dry your tears and make you smile. I’ll hold you tight when you’re cold inside. I see your scars and the healing you had to survive. I’ll be there when you’ll be losing faith. I’ll show you the bright colors you put in my eyes. I’ll be there to love you, body and soul. May the world be blind to our struggles, I’ll be there because you’re mine.
I held you in my dreams. This is the day my heart broke while yours was silent. Nobody wants to remember, nobody understands how important it would be. You were real. My heart will beat for you until my last breath.
There’s no fairness to receive back, no gratitude granted. It’s a choice to be true to yourself and maybe losing everything else. I trust No One. I just breathe, then I remember: I’m alive and deserve to be. Doesn’t matter if I’m truly seen, loved and respected. No matter what, I deserve this little place in this Time and Earth. I have to believe.
I need to stand up for myself. To be my own man, or woman in this case. I can adapt all right, can take all these little lies, as you picture them. I can be underestimated all my life. Be a tool for my own family. I’ll keep on living in my mind and keep my true self to me. When someone is ignoring me while I’m talking, I stop. I already know what’s on my mind and I don’t need to here it expressed in my voice out loud. I care about my body, I take care of it and I’ll let it untouched as much as I can if I’m not going to be treated with the care and time and feeling I deserve. You moron. You’re undeserving of my love.