I held you in my dreams. This is the day my heart broke while yours was silent. Nobody wants to remember, nobody understands how important it would be. You were real. My heart will beat for you until my last breath.
There’s no fairness to receive back, no gratitude granted. It’s a choice to be true to yourself and maybe losing everything else. I trust No One. I just breathe, then I remember: I’m alive and deserve to be. Doesn’t matter if I’m truly seen, loved and respected. No matter what, I deserve this little place in this Time and Earth. I have to believe.
I need to stand up for myself. To be my own man, or woman in this case. I can adapt all right, can take all these little lies, as you picture them. I can be underestimated all my life. Be a tool for my own family. I’ll keep on living in my mind and keep my true self to me. When someone is ignoring me while I’m talking, I stop. I already know what’s on my mind and I don’t need to here it expressed in my voice out loud. I care about my body, I take care of it and I’ll let it untouched as much as I can if I’m not going to be treated with the care and time and feeling I deserve. You moron. You’re undeserving of my love.
Nothing hurts like the cuts you keep letting your loved ones inflict on you. It’s the betrayal of your affection, of your caring. It’s the burning humiliation. There are links you can’t break. There are crosses you bear willingly. Silently hiding in yourself, needing relief. Calling for everything to stop just for a second. Just to forget yourself, the place you live in, your life, every choice you made. Every person who broke you. Piece by piece. The moment you feel yourself floating with your favorite music, reaching for the sky. Just a second to leave all the ugliness behind. Give me just that second to forget.
When you’re wounded and hurt
And your feelings are bleeding
There’re no words to describe
What your heart is screaming.
When you smell the colour blue, touch your memory childhood, you could be high, highly sensitive. That’s for sure your worst blessing.
Turning in circles around my head, I thought you were cheating, in some or either way…
I know it’s my business this need to clarify. My constant search for real in a different kind of light.
Real is my heart and my look into your eyes. Forgive me ’cause it’s cursed, my heart my love and Life.