I thought it was enough. Coping with a mended heart. Every step it’s a choice and it shows your path. Step by step you keep on walking; you stop, the road is cut. I dreamed with music and colors, had nightmeares that made me cry. I saw myself in love, brave and strong never to fear again. I trust no more and love no less. I made my choices, it’s me I blame. Lost are the dreams of days to come. I walk, I sit, well nothing changed. So hard to handle a complex mind, so pointless fighting a broken heart. In your words is your story, in your thoughts your true self.
We’re lost, we’re distant. We talk of nothings and life, we fight the beast of changes and daily rewind. Always a struggle, always behind. I need so much, you won’t try. I know, you know. We’ll keep on pretending is fine. If you want me, you’ve got to seduce me. You won’t even try. Bored I can deal with: it’s fine. I need no problems (no more), but please, I’m burning inside! you’re freezing my heart, flesh and soul. Such a crime!
The sun is blinding hot. I stand absorbing its warming embrace. I treasure the rising nature, spring it’s everywhere. No need for human interference. We’re safe inside and the World is coming alive.
Don’t you worry. When you’ll face the harsh and tough, I’ll be there. When you fight with your fears, scared to your bones, your hand in mine. I’ll be there to dry your tears and make you smile. I’ll hold you tight when you’re cold inside. I see your scars and the healing you had to survive. I’ll be there when you’ll be losing faith. I’ll show you the bright colors you put in my eyes. I’ll be there to love you, body and soul. May the world be blind to our struggles, I’ll be there because you’re mine.
There are times when the picture is clear. Frozen in place, standing we can see, all the dirt, the falling dust that covers the lies. We were busy, occupied, we couldn’t bother to fight. There were too many shiny things to reach. Doesn’t matter the lost, the poor, the oppressed, ’till we escape that fate, we’re secure. So, the power was there to keep into greasy hands, to share between themselves. We were busy worrying ’till the grave. Paying overwhelming taxes, caressing empty things, distancing from feelings. We lost the power to criticize and act. Now, we face the consequence. The world in greedy hands, our safety at stake. How does it feel? Those shiny things, so empty and useless. We’re under a pacific tyranny. How does it sound? Take this time to understand.
You quit your crew ’cause they’re mean to others. They’ll be resentful for your true motivation. Obviously, you won’t tell lies, ’cause you’re strange that way. So, you’re reasons are good, but so annoying that you’ll be the awkward moody person. Welcome to this world, you sensitive creature.
Liars hide themselves from you. They don’t want you to see them. You can talk about it ’till you drop. They’ll agree, but keep on lying. If someone isn’t true to themselves to the point that they can’t stand the thought of you knowing them, why bother? I know it’s hard. For me it is, beacause I never lie. Lies are a manipulative way to control your opinion. That’s a big NO for me. That’s offending. It’s sad to learn everyday that lying it’s a common habit. It’s easier to keep our thoughts to ourselves when you can’t trust your loved ones. Keep in mind that for sensitive people it’s a huge deal, whereas for most it’s not, they tend to difference. Big unforgivable lyes from little almost laughable ones… Not for us. You’re hiding and I can easily see that, so you’re controlling what I’m allowed to think of you. I really don’t trust anyone at this point. My love still remains. So, my heart is quite broken and my soul lonely.
Turning in circles around my head, I thought you were cheating, in some or either way…
I know it’s my business this need to clarify. My constant search for real in a different kind of light.
Real is my heart and my look into your eyes. Forgive me ’cause it’s cursed, my heart my love and Life.
As an introvert and selfconscius person, I don’t like gyms. I want to workout without the need to exchange pleasantries. So, I workout at home. Every day. It’s true, it works for me. I’ve never felt better in my whole life. I cut my food and chose only the healthy one, but things I enjoyed and worked out every day. First 15 min. on the spinning bike, then 20…, ’till I managed an hour. That’s good for me, because i have some old issues with my knees. When I achieved my healthy weight, I kept focusing on working out and finding happiness in it. When you zone out, or maybe tune out the world and the problems with it, that’s my choice. I learnt not to jump, big no! for my knees, but bodyweight workout, planks… Oh, yes ! Music and peace. My ultimate crush are kettlebells. They are great! They just follow me around the house. Every mundane thing I have to do, I can pick my kettlebell and swing, snatch, give it a go. Rest. I feel powerful and my body, imperfect as it is, never felt better. Because the strength I physically have now, remind me that I am strong inside as well. I just have to swing it. Kettlebells are perfect for the introvert, they don’t take much space and they silently follow you arund. You’ll have all, ALL your body in shape, with fun movements and is nobody business. You can workout when nobody’s watching. Every moment is the right moment. I’m a fighter and a loser, but I’ll kettlebell it ’till the end.
You don’t get me, I don’t care. Times are changing, they always are. It’s the life secret. Time is in your mind. What’s true is what you believe to be. I believe in a greater realness. One that defies human selfish needs. Everything breathes and moves in its own pace. The rock changes, thanks to the wind, water and what goes around it. So, I believe in the key that makes things different. I love biographies, I need to understand the reactions to life events. Why that person thrived, while others surrendered. That’s the uniqueness in us. The way we cope with these lemons that life keep throwing at us. I’d like to throw them back. See what happens. See if Someone get upset or amused.