Lost future

So, if nothing is left, what should I do?
Nothing to change, everything to lose and I can’t even think about it,
but it’s so hard broken my heart emptied. I can’t afford the last spirit of hope.
I should have known better, should I?
Too young to understand, to abandoned to recognise that some people just don’t hide, their feelings are something different.
I’ve been waiting for so long just to be held tight, to be a gift for you, my life.
I thought and I lost my childish dreams, I grew up and I can’t look in your eyes.
You’re the same. We lost so much, we’ve been through so much… how can you be the same? That could be the worst betrayal to me: you’ve been somewhere else, I can just read it in your eyes.
Thinking, always thinking about your job, your money you can’t afford, and I’m here, year by year, in front of you.
I feel so useless, so abandoned once more. They say the child from abuse marry abusive, so maybe the not cared ones marry those who don’t care…
I don’t know… I have to face my future knowing I will never feel what it means for a woman to be truly loved. I wish we were not so many of us.

Breaking dreams

Quote

I can’t consider what you think about me
It could cost me too much
It could cut me deep.

As long as you see I survived enough
But you need better glasses
It’s just a part, the me in a half.

I don’ t want to talk either, what for?
I just lived my body staring at you
While myself lays indoor.

I need a break, a new dream to catch,
don’t bother to me, don’t even care,
Just let me be the match.

the truth in the fantasy

no words to fill the emptiness frozen in me.

reading is my illusion of being more real than my fantasy.

I thought I could do, be, say or sing something impressive.

I’ll never survive my dreams, my fantasies and all the strange little worlds living in.

I’ll be just fine at the end of the journey if someone will know Me.

Take a whisper and breathe it through other ears.

Imagine imagination

I’ve always been a dreamer.

I can put it on 80’s movies, on the books I’ve read since I was a child, the only one, so I had plenty of time to dream about places and people.

I was the hero or the queen? I think I was a sort of god of that world of mine, where my imagination could run free and wild.

Do you dare to think I finished with it? No way!

Let the thoughts be the truth, let the thinking be the way, no buying craps or foolish things, no falling into mac things..

I’ not trying to teach anything at all, I’m the student here!

I just need my dreams, my imagination to be dripped, words, lots of words to make it alive.

I just need to dream and write and read ’till I die.

Please, please let me believe there will be stories to hear Afterlife!

Blue Moon tonight

Blue Moon tonight, a special night.

It happens just in a while that you can see twice in month the full beautiful moon. Secret whispered dreams for you, with all my special wishes of love, with all my heart.

I’ll be a river, so I’ll learn

Goodbye sweet angel, goodby my little dream,

one day I’ll learn what happened, so I’ll be free,

I try not to think, I’m trying to be good,

’cause I have to love, you know,

‘ cause they’re what I live for.

Goodbye my last hope,

my faith in believing,

my needs and my soul.

It’s me, for sure,

I’ll learn to be a river,

flowing from the mountain top,

taking the good and the bad,

carrying them through the way

and at the end of the journey,

I’ll free bag and baggage in the sea,

’cause I’ll have learnt my lesson.