Spring awakening

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today is calling me,
it punches my shoulder,
screaming “it’s time, it’s time!!”

What for?, I don’t get it,
but someone whispers in my ear:
get up Lazy Ass and leave a sign.

All right, I’ve got it: LifE,
I’ll crunch you, I’ll kiss you,
I’ll hold you so tight:.. Love YOU!

Time to thank

No poetry today. I’d like to do the opposite today.

Usually I write my thoughts in the italian blog “racconti e ciarle”, but today I felt to write there a poem and I choose to tell a story here instead.

The beautiful story that opened my heart these days.

I had som bad years in my teens, my parents departed, my mom left my dad when I was twelve and married her new husband when I was fourteen, on my birthday exactly.

I had a horrible relationship with her husband, I was devastated because he couldn’t stand me, but my mother wanted a new perfect life and became everything he wanted, doesn’t matter if it ment to say the opposite of what she taught me before.

I felt overwhelmed and I reached a point of no return, trying to stop it. But I failed, luckily!

Ok, I cut it: I left home, I’ve been with my precious granny and with my dad (gosh!). At the end of the day I chose to leave the school (and it’s a pity, because I’ve always been sure that I would have reached my goals) and went on my own.

I found a job, I left for England, stayed a year and met my boyfriend, come back in Italy, gone with him to live, far, far from my city and married him.. and every precious thing I have since than is beautiful.

I had a fantastic best friend from my nine years to my fifteen years old. We lost each other because of the school, she has to change institute, but she has been my best friend, and I felt bad for loosing her, because I was to inside my horrible life.

Guess why I’m boring you with the worst part of my life?

Because thanks to my blog, after eighteen years (18? wow!), my friend found me in my blog, she just finished in it with a casual search.

I’m so happy, really happy, I can trust again, after loosing so much last year (granny, and little soul).

But I have a beautiful family, crazy happy smart boys and my friend again.

It’s time for me to say thank you!

thinking back and forward

as the sun rises his head, I have to think about my nightmares,

not going anywhere anymore, just laying as I stay.

words I had enough and more not spoken, and never to go.

whispers in my ears moving on, looking for the heart colder than ever.

as the glass crushes,my beat smashes my flesh and blood.

crying is a wasted water resource, I wasted enough, dry at all once.

my sight is lost in the far horizon line, always thinking there’s a better place for me.

Silence killer

Never ever live in silence.
Everybody can hurt you when you’re silent.
Scream out loud, let your life be an eternal cry.
Let everybody know your alive, moving in the time-line.
I hold you tight ’cause I can see your light,
you’re so beautiful I can’t express..
my feelings in your hand.

Running in circles

In circles I’m running
going where I don’t care

really smart to consider
all my life from the shore

wave by wave emotions
crush in a crushed devotion

I’m standing in the middle
of this pool of blood

where’s the victim gone?
look there, look better!

a hand’s rising high
no fair… it’s mine.

Positive

Every try I give,

I miss the target.

I’m still here,

so I’ll try again.

Soon or later

I’m sure enough,

I’ll be able once

to hit the mark.

I love myself..I believe

I’m happy to be  me because I’m honest with myself, because I like my thoughts.

Sometimes I really keep me good company .

The thing is.. when someone’s always by your side no matter what, what you feel?

So, I’m grateful I ‘m still in one piece.

Look at me, I’ve been through some holes to hell!

I faced my fears, I’m still looking back from time to time, but what to do with something you never chose?

You don’t choose to lose someone, you don’t choose when the grim is going for a visit, it comes!

I’m on my feet and I’m in good company,I have love and I have to stop with these fears of loss.

I felt abandoned in my childhood, but to lose in these days that’s a different kettle of fish.

I’m fine, I have a dream, I need a project, everybody needs, to go on.

I’m writing every time I can and obviously it’s a hard thing to do, ’cause it’s like the universe notices it sending me distractions every minute.

I’m stubborn with this purpose, I’ll do it.

Don’t worry! I’m writing the story in italian, I know my english is good enough just to communicate, not to write really!

If a day, maybe, let me dream… It will score, maybe you’ll read it.

 

 

Never turn back

The one who leaves , leaves a presence ten times bigger than himself.

You have to be strong and look straight the way, never turn back, never.

His eyes will be so big and bright, ten times better than the real ones.

The way he smiled you’ll think was charming, in a way it never was.

So, leave the ghosts in peace and treat yourself right, as you’re here, now, flash and blood.

You’ve got to be your best friend ’cause no one in this life has been so close to you as you are .

Making love

Eating her mouth
as he was dying for the bite.

She felt dizziness
through her womb,
craving for more.

Their lips in fusion,
saliva and tongues
embracing strong.

His hand scouting
her mountains and valleys.

Her breath in search
for some air to grab,
and holding him strong
never to loose his rock.

And climbing the wave
together embraced
up up and he smiles
“take my hand, hold me tight”.

They’re so high
she’s screaming loud
and laughs with tears come by,

he grits his teeth
to reach the top
and kissing her hot

he takes her down
in a free  loving fall.

Omnipotence signs, writer syndrome

37 pages. a list of people all come from my mind and I have to remember them!

They’re starting to live on their own, their past coming to life while I type as I’m possessed by them.

So I’m starting to love them, looking forward to reach the end.

I’m drowning in all the doubts about my incompetence.

I’m positive I’ll finish this story of them, those people life come to life because of me.

I really don’t know what I’ll do after, but I’m enjoying the journey, we’ll see the destination.

I have a world in this ass-head of mine, not sure it could be appreciated, but I’m surprised myself when I look at that.

Thinking about omnipotence, writer syndrome.