Next time, next life

Next time. It will be next time. When I’ll be stronger, better settled. Next time, next life. I’ll be my person, I’ll make my own rules. I’ll be fierce, proud and whole. I’ll count my wins and losses and never I’ll drown. My mind will be my fortress. Next time, next life. I’ll make mistakes to wear and show. I’ll be so good to myself. Next time, next life.

Liars have control issues

Liars hide themselves from you. They don’t want you to see them. You can talk about it ’till you drop. They’ll agree, but keep on lying. If someone isn’t true to themselves to the point that they can’t stand the thought of you knowing them, why bother? I know it’s hard. For me it is, beacause I never lie. Lies are a manipulative way to control your opinion. That’s a big NO for me. That’s offending. It’s sad to learn everyday that lying it’s a common habit. It’s easier to keep our thoughts to ourselves when you can’t trust your loved ones. Keep in mind that for sensitive people it’s a huge deal, whereas for most it’s not, they tend to difference. Big unforgivable lyes from little almost laughable ones… Not for us. You’re hiding and I can easily see that, so you’re controlling what I’m allowed to think of you. I really don’t trust anyone at this point. My love still remains. So, my heart is quite broken and my soul lonely.

Words kept secret

Sometimes it’s better to shut up; sometimes it’s not a choice, you have to hold, to keep all your thoughts inside.
Maybe because it’s not worth to discuss; maybe because no one is willing to listen or just because the time is not right.
So, I hold on, I know that I’m in mistake in some way all the time,’cause I feel frustrated and angry and the words that are born from that are better never to be told.
It’s so hard to feel this need to be wanted so much, but … nevermind.

Kiss you goodbye

I have no dreams to hold tight, to believe in, no hope in Us.
I’ll keep going, as I always do. ‘Cause I know I can’t play games, this si real, as real as my bleading heart is.
I’ll take some boxes, to put my body and soul in. No woman of me is left outside, no dreams of kisses of tender hands, skin to skin, heart to heart, only the woman you can keep, the one your mom is I think.
No passion no best friend, as you said, you were so young! , no friendship between us, and I was speachless.. How could we be in love without it? And now … Years and tears gone by… With my dreams, my sorrow and confidence, that I never had…
Kiss you goodbye while I’m here, to stay, and only God knows who I am.

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Never turn back

The one who leaves , leaves a presence ten times bigger than himself.

You have to be strong and look straight the way, never turn back, never.

His eyes will be so big and bright, ten times better than the real ones.

The way he smiled you’ll think was charming, in a way it never was.

So, leave the ghosts in peace and treat yourself right, as you’re here, now, flash and blood.

You’ve got to be your best friend ’cause no one in this life has been so close to you as you are .

The core is safe

painting by T. C. Chiu

Memories are in the box,
thrown in the shadows.
I don’t want them,
I don’t need them.

I’m looking forward
to find me again.
I just need the bridge
a wooden one.

This island of myself
nobody knows.
It’s hard to play cheerful
as I am, but not really.

I love emotions,
fire and wind,
the boredom is a fog
covering my leaves.

I try to protect
what I keep inside,
not letting my life
to drawn my feelings.

So, I keep on going,
day by day,
smiling and mumbling
never the core to be shown.

Summertime is snowing

So it’s heating outside,

What is this cold snowing in my heart?

My body is asking for some rest.

Summer is coming and I’m trembling,

I just hate it.

Don’t you judge me!

I have everything you’d like:

perfect sea and perfect sun,

I forgot to mention

how much I hate to see

everybody on vacation

while we pray for a good season?

money can’t buy it baby,

but can pay my bills!

 

I miss you wonderful one

I remember your smell, your particular way, of living, of telling me stories, about your life, about us.

I miss you so much I think I won’t forgive you, ’cause you left me alone, facing all this seaquake, and my arms are so tired, of swimming in the deepness.

I dreamt of you and you were fine, no smile in your eyes, but I know your worries and I’m trying to survive.

I was thinking about the day you told me you were sleeping and granddad with his book, next to you. Then you woke up after a strange dreaming, the same story he was reading about.

I’ve always known you were special, your departure hadn’t left anything more to that.

So I find myself cut in the middle, playing everything is fine.

Goodbye girl, goodbye my friend, goodbye sweet nanny of mine, the strongest wonderful soul I ever met.