Living thoughts

The jungle inside is bursting to life,
scraping new critters so wild,
carving their features in my mind.

I’m just trying to memorize,
their colors are so bright,
I’m  helplessly hypnotized.

I just wanted to know
how nice it could be
to be able to grow
in my own truly me.

Lost future

So, if nothing is left, what should I do?
Nothing to change, everything to lose and I can’t even think about it,
but it’s so hard broken my heart emptied. I can’t afford the last spirit of hope.
I should have known better, should I?
Too young to understand, to abandoned to recognise that some people just don’t hide, their feelings are something different.
I’ve been waiting for so long just to be held tight, to be a gift for you, my life.
I thought and I lost my childish dreams, I grew up and I can’t look in your eyes.
You’re the same. We lost so much, we’ve been through so much… how can you be the same? That could be the worst betrayal to me: you’ve been somewhere else, I can just read it in your eyes.
Thinking, always thinking about your job, your money you can’t afford, and I’m here, year by year, in front of you.
I feel so useless, so abandoned once more. They say the child from abuse marry abusive, so maybe the not cared ones marry those who don’t care…
I don’t know… I have to face my future knowing I will never feel what it means for a woman to be truly loved. I wish we were not so many of us.

Words kept secret

Sometimes it’s better to shut up; sometimes it’s not a choice, you have to hold, to keep all your thoughts inside.
Maybe because it’s not worth to discuss; maybe because no one is willing to listen or just because the time is not right.
So, I hold on, I know that I’m in mistake in some way all the time,’cause I feel frustrated and angry and the words that are born from that are better never to be told.
It’s so hard to feel this need to be wanted so much, but … nevermind.

Claustrophobic

And it’s so claustrophibic to be with myself. I can put the distance between them and I, but never cross this river that’s cutting myself into me and I.

So claustrophobic to be me and having to obey to all these feelings that keep going through my heart.

Thoughts and hopes passing by, leaving their mark in my soul, indelibles.

Who could ever understand another one if he’s not in his head?

This secret garden is growing in weeds and I lost my shears.

I think I’m gonna open the window and breath the breeze.